I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
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