My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
