My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
