i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
