there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
