Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
