the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize