i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
