Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
