My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
