Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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