I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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