so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
