One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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