Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
