Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize