he shaved USA in his pubs
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
