May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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