It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
