you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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