What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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