does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize