and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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