I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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