yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Can I color on your dick again?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.