They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
