Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
