He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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