you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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