and you said cock pushups were impossible
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
