he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
