I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
