I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize