Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
