this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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