i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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