you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
