It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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