HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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