I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
