Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
