my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
