nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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