Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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