you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I need moral support for this bender
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
