In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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