does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
