I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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