I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
