the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
