what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
