I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
