Where is the hickey?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
