a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize