i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
